Nic,

Here are some of my thoughts, I apologize if I ramble.

Martin Heidegger wrote in a letter to his student Hannah Arendt, "We never know what we can become for others through our Being." If one might think of love as a return to being, then it can serve as a way to knowing oneself. The act of loving is one of knowing. The chance of the action is that which I seek. When we are united in love through chance, as love celebrates a return to being. I choose to love as I take the leap into chance. Love is never a compromise, a moment that is chosen out of desperation, fear of loneliness, lack of independence. It is the ultimate act of knowing, as we never really see ourselves unless it is through another person's eyes. I need to love, I always must love, as it is a way towards enlivenment.

Heidegger continues in a later letter to Hannah, "Why is love rich beyond all other possible human experiences and a sweet burden to those seized in its grasp? Because we become what we love and yet remain ourselves. Then we want to thank the beloved, but find nothing that suffices. We can only thank with our selves. Love transforms gratitude into loyalty to our selves and unconditional faith in the other."

It seems that to truly discuss love we will discuss everything. Nothing will be missed, as that is the reason why we cannot usually address love. Yes, some path must be demarcated, but it cannot be a path which will slice territories short of their relevancy. We must discuss the body, sex, sexuality, loss, death, trust, mourning, friendship, vulnerability, touch as they unite in manifestations of love. To touch, to be touched in a way that the distance is not merely be removed. James Carse believes that "I am touched only if I respond from my own center--that is, spontaneously, originally. But you do not touch me except from your own center, out of your own genius. Touching is always reciprocal. You cannot touch me unless I touch you in response."

Before you touch me, you do not know if I will touch in response. I must be vulnerable. I must welcome an openness. My willingness to this openness is a gesture "that is not a matter of exposing one's unchanging identity, the true self that has always been, but a way of exposing one's ceaseless growth, the dynamic self that has yet to be." --James Carse. This once again returns to my being. Although not frozen in the moment to come or even what I am, my being is intensified, amplified through realized possibilities. When we love, my being is extending through you, because of you.

to be continued...
c.